Your wedding day is one of the happiest days of your life, but of course, with ultimate happiness comes the opposite of ultimate lows. You are one very lucky person if you are able to have all of your loved ones at your wedding, whether it be due to distance, age, or passing, most of us have missing parts of our hearts at our weddings. But, this doesn’t have to bring a big downer to your day, we can remember them and tilt our hats to them so they are part of your day without it becoming too sad. Besides, they would want you to have fun and enjoy your day, so here’s 10 ideas on how to include your loved ones into your wedding.
1.Photos - Probably the most popular thing I’ve seen. Nice and simple, and not expensive either! Have them on their own table, ladder, or set of crates (whatever your theme is) creating a separate area of importance or place them by the cake, or as decorations on tables to include them into the design of the day rather than stand alone pieces. Sometimes it’s nice to include old photos of grandparents, parents and siblings weddings too, add them together with images of your missing loved ones and the table of photos becomes a table of joyful, fun memories rather than just of people who can’t physically be there.
2.The Bouquet - If you’d like something that is really personal to you, and you want to highlight one or two people only, then why not add a photo plaque to your bouquet, most florists will be able to help you with the best way of attaching the plaque, I’ve seen it done with ribbon or with pins. It is a lovely way to literally be holding onto that loved one as you walk down the aisle. Remember though to make sure your photographer knows and gets a picture of it. They are very subtle and most of your guests won’t see it, so you really want to make sure you get a separate picture of it. If you’d like to go even more subtle and meaningful just for yourself, why not get your bouquet to include a stand out flower. If your loved one had a favourite flower, get your florist to highlight that in the bouquet, and again make sure you tell your photographer so they get that detail.
Highly recommended supplier: Stems and Bows
3.A seat at the table - Probably the most obvious way to represent a big gap in your day, but it can be a lovely touch. I have seen it done where there are chairs left free during the ceremony with a few words on, or a single chair with the loved ones favourite cushion on that gets moved around during the day to follow the action. Raise a smile to your guests’ faces with the addition of something from the loved one is on the chair, either words, a photo, favourite cushion, football teams shirt etc. anything personal to make it definitely ‘their’ chair and not just an empty spot.
4.Memories with your details - This is one to tell your photographer about. This is extremely personal and normally stays within the confines of your getting ready environment, it’s not shouted about, and none of your guests would know. Photographers should get photos of your details ie. shoes, dress, jewellery, perfume, invitations, flowers etc but what is really nice is if these items are surrounded by other items that you treasure. I have seen a few brides bring with them old medals, letters, hankies, lockets etc from their loved ones. Items that were once theirs; sometimes it is everything to know that you are surrounded by these items whilst you get ready, it does make you feel closer. This can also be simply getting ready in a room with family pictures/memories. Again, keep your photographer in the know on what is important to you, if you don’t want to shout about it on the day, tell them during your pre wedding consultation, or simply email. The more we know, the more your photos will mean.
5.Music - A song can say it all, if your loved one had a favourite song or if there is a song that reflects everything about that person then why not use it! Brides have walked down the aisle to their Dad’s favourite song, or had it as their second dance. Some have just played it through speakers, others have had it sung, or if the words are too much then hire a live pianist, violinist or my favourite, a cellist, to play the melody as you walk in. Likewise, if that moment feels like it would hold too much emotion to keep in then have it played or sung during the signing of the register. I have also seen songs used as one of the readings during the ceremony, just the lyrics read out, which is a lovely way to include their memory, or again, have the lyrics written out and use them as your material for a flower bouquet!
Highly recommended supplier: BM Artists
6.Alcohol! - Why not get the party really going with a shot of their favourite alcohol! I’ve seen this done a few different ways; to start the speeches off with a drink, a formal toast to missed loved ones, or as your guests walk in to find their seat at the table they have to do a shot first! I’ve also seen these special drinks have their own separate station around the room, why not add a fun sign like “have a toast on Grampa” or “He would, so you should!”. You can even incorporate this into your decoration and have their favourite tipple as your favors, or as a container for your flowers. This is a really fun way of involving them and it gets everyone remembering them in a really fun, happy way.
7.Place them in your jewellery - Literally, if you have the ashes of your loved one then there are some fabulous companies that you can send off a tiny bit of ash and they will create the most beautiful rings, earrings, cufflinks, necklaces with some ash inside. What a beautiful way to have them at your wedding. Some brides have even told me that they have felt their jewellery get hot during the ceremony - hopefully meaning that their loved one approved!
Highly reccomended supplier: Forever Together
8.Clothing - Another way of having your loved ones close to you is to incorporate a bit of their clothing into your own, such as their favourite blouse, shirt or even a bit of their wedding dress or suit. Use the material as a sash or re-use the family veil, or cut out a piece of a favourite shirt and pin it on the inside of your dress/suit. I’ve even seen old shirts from loved ones been cut up and used as the wedding bunting or napkins! This works especially well if they had an eclectic collection of colours and designs!
9.Smell - How often do you hear it said that people have smelt their loved ones after they’ve passed? Why not make that the way to include them in your day? If they had a favourite perfume or aftershave you could have miniatures of them as favors, or have them placed in your guest toilets to freshen themselves up with. You could also use it as your own scent for the day, or create your own scent by creating your own candles. Try to infuse them with the same kind of scents as your loved one, or just create one in their memory; if they loved the smell of cut grass for example, or if they had lavender in their garden, then add a unique and personal name and hey presto! This way you’ll always be smelling them through out the day. Plus, you can keep a few candles back to light every year on your anniversary.
Highly recommended supplier: The London Refinery
10.Food! Include a family recipe - If your loved ones were famous for a type of cake, cookie or main dish, why not include that in your day. You only have to ask the venue if they would allow you to provide your own tray (along side theirs) to hand around the guests during the cocktail hour. This could be bites of Grandma’s famous lasagne, or dad’s favourite chips and gravy. Cocktail hour is a great time for warm mini nibbles like this, add a little sign to go on the tray and the personal touch is done! If you think that’s too much, then why not have a special table full of family favourites all cooked by family and friends, almost like a bake off! If you wanted to save money, and you had enough people do this then this could be your dessert course too!
Hopefully, these 10 different ways to include your missing loved ones on your wedding day have helped give you a few ideas. Remember, if you decide to celebrate them and include them, whatever you choose is right. It is your day, and only you can say how you’d like them to be incorporated, it does get hard as there’s a hell of a lot of people that will be missing them too, but they should respect your choice and maybe you could even suggest a few of these ideas to them so that they can feel connected and part of the memories too.
Any questions you have about these ideas or the images don’t hesitate to get in contact, I’m always here to help. I have had the honour of capturing so many beautiful weddings that hopefully I’ll be able to answer any questions you may have!
Katie x
